SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We are two peas in an std pod
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
