So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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