I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
