I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
