Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
