Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
