Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
