Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
