just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
