i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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