I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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