Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
