how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
