this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The air taste purple.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
