I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
