Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
