I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
