I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
