One girl and one boy is just not enough.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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