Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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