you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
