This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
