She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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