I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Found your dick twin last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize