Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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