Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
