I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
