One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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