We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Less talking, more tequila
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
