Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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