He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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