i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
