you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
and you fell through a lawn chair
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
