you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
