Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
