I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize