whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
