paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Two words: nipple clamps
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