nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
