A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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