what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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