i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
