so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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