Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
