if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
