it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize