oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
