found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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