just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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