So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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