just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm sobbing to NWA
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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