direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
