Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
