it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
