This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize