remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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