Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
