from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
