I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We have started to decorate penises.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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