She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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