he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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