why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think my moral compass just broke
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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