Dual....:-)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
